5 WAYS TO REBUKE A FRIEND
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. Proverbs 17:17
Wounds from a friend can be trusted… Proverbs 27:6
Rebuke: Express sharp disapproval or criticism of (someone) because of their behavior or actions.
Years ago in college, I had a friend tell me was very painful to the people I was closest to and challenged me to think about why I was using sarcasm. I initially dismissed him as being overly sensitive but later assessed what he said and realized what a jerk I was being to people and decided I would not longer be sarcastic. That has stuck with me for over 20 years and probably has probably kept me from hurting countless people needlessly.
That’s only one example. Thankfully there have been many other times a friend loved me enough to help me see the mistakes I was making. Usually I knew, but the rebuke challenged me to alter my ways. I’ve had to “return the favor” many times.
There are times when you have to rebuke a friend, in order to be a true friend. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to tell another where he or she is doing wrong. You may be the only one who cares enough to point out what everyone else sees, but refuses to address.
If you choose to accept the assignment of rebuking a friend, you should be sure you are correct in your assessment, you should pray through the correct timing of your approach, and you should address the person and not others to keep from spreading gossip.
When that time comes, here are 5 ways to rebuke a friend:
1. Be loving - As we should do with everything, rebuke should come in the context of a loving relationship. In fact, one standard might be to not rebuke people you don’t love.
2. Be truthful – Don’t dance around or use subtleties when addressing the issue. State the problem as you see it.
3. Be helpful – Be willing to walk through any necessary recovery with the friend or help them process where they are in life.
4. Be purposeful - The rebuke should not be vindictive in nature or driven by jealousy or selfish interests. The betterment of the friend should be your sole objective.
5. Be redemptive – Be willing to extend grace and forgive the friend for any wrong done. Make sure he or she knows you are still in their corner.
Wounds from a friend can be trusted… Proverbs 27:6
Rebuke: Express sharp disapproval or criticism of (someone) because of their behavior or actions.
Years ago in college, I had a friend tell me was very painful to the people I was closest to and challenged me to think about why I was using sarcasm. I initially dismissed him as being overly sensitive but later assessed what he said and realized what a jerk I was being to people and decided I would not longer be sarcastic. That has stuck with me for over 20 years and probably has probably kept me from hurting countless people needlessly.
That’s only one example. Thankfully there have been many other times a friend loved me enough to help me see the mistakes I was making. Usually I knew, but the rebuke challenged me to alter my ways. I’ve had to “return the favor” many times.
There are times when you have to rebuke a friend, in order to be a true friend. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to tell another where he or she is doing wrong. You may be the only one who cares enough to point out what everyone else sees, but refuses to address.
If you choose to accept the assignment of rebuking a friend, you should be sure you are correct in your assessment, you should pray through the correct timing of your approach, and you should address the person and not others to keep from spreading gossip.
When that time comes, here are 5 ways to rebuke a friend:
1. Be loving - As we should do with everything, rebuke should come in the context of a loving relationship. In fact, one standard might be to not rebuke people you don’t love.
2. Be truthful – Don’t dance around or use subtleties when addressing the issue. State the problem as you see it.
3. Be helpful – Be willing to walk through any necessary recovery with the friend or help them process where they are in life.
4. Be purposeful - The rebuke should not be vindictive in nature or driven by jealousy or selfish interests. The betterment of the friend should be your sole objective.
5. Be redemptive – Be willing to extend grace and forgive the friend for any wrong done. Make sure he or she knows you are still in their corner.
Labels: Matt's Thoughts, Spiritual Growth
posted by Matt Harris at
8:43 AM
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